Helge Fischer’s “Safe Cuddling” Suit – Sexual Predators Beware
(Note: Image taken from Helge Fischer’s website and highly modified to include the the important things he left out)
It seems like wherever you go these days, someone’s trying to grab a big handful of kid crotch, and that’s where Helge Fischer swoops in like Captain America. Helge is a guy that understands the “Stranger Danger” concept more than anyone. His “ironic comment” about the state of public child safety was this suit – one with flashing lights and alarms if someone touches all of the obvious the danger zones. From his website: “When the child wearing the suit is touched for too long or in inappropriate areas an alarm goes off, first gently hinting at potential ambiguities, finally assertively reminding the parent or care-taker and others around of their responsibility.”
Now, I’m not saying that I actively ignore my child in public. But you know, sometimes when the ice cream truck cruises up and you want a Choco Taco, you drop everything to run and get one. And I mean everything. So, this “Safe Cuddling” suit is perfect – you’re free to give your child a little independence while you acquire a latin-themed frozen treat, as long as you keep your ear perked for the suit’s sirens.
The only shame about this suit is that Helge Fischer has no real intention to produce and sell it. I want this suit almost more than I want a functioning Iron Baby suit.
Sauce: Helge Fischer