Frowning kids are such a burn on your careful parenting. All it takes is one public frown and people know that you beat them behind closed doors. Make sure when your little ones are roaming the streets, they’ve got one of these thingies in their mouths. That way, no one will ever find out that they’re terrified of turning into you.

You know, or if you’ve got a kid on Toddlers & Tiaras.