The Justice League, normally tasked with maintaining the safety of humanity, may actually be killing your child. Drinking glasses with the likenesses of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and the Green Lantern are being recalled due to high levels of lead and cadmium. No, not those delicious chocolate eggs filled with a questionable creamy sugar-ejaculate. Cadmium, as in, atomic number 48, or something. I wikipedia’d it.

The recall effects cups by nostalgia-whores Vandor, LLC. Originally, Vandor commissioned their own test for lead and cadmium levels in the glasses, and, of course, passed with flying colors. Associated Press, however, conducted their own test, and surprise surprise – products contained up to 1,000 times more than the legal limit of lead in the colored designs on the glasses. Here’s the kicker – if these products weren’t considered “kids products”, there would be no regulation. Vandor attempted to classify the glasses as “adult collectibles,” which, in bizarro world, is true – we all know that kids are just as interested in superhero cups as adult collectors. Maybe if Wonder Woman was nude on the glass, Vandor would have an easier time saying the glasses were for adults. And as an added bonus, I’d buy ten of them.

So, if you’ve been ultra-proud that your kid’s first favorite drinking glass is the Superman glass you got for him…take it back. Tell him that the Man of Steel is allergic to lead.