You didn’t know there was a National Window Safety Week? At first, I thought “this is great, I can get some tips on the most popular virus scanners, maybe some system cleaners, back-up software. I’ll get my computer running right!”

Evidently, this has nothing to do with Microsoft Windows. And National Window Safety Week was April 3-9, so we really missed the boat on this. I never got a press release e-mailed to me, so boo on the window industry. Keep reading for what I found out.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission, along with the “Window Safety Task Force,” (yeah, there’s one of those) wanted to make sure that while we think we’re doing our kids a favor by opening our homes’ windows on a hot day, we’re really opening a portal to a death trap. A giant trap of death. A trap, from which only death can result.

Actually, according to the CPSC and the WSTF, “on average, one of every three children, about 34 percent, required hospitalization after falling from a window.” That’s yearly, dudes. If you’ve got three kids, one of them is going to go to the hospital with a window-related injury this year.

There’s ways to reduce window-related kid deaths and injuries, but I don’t want to spoil it for you, so check the sauce for linkage.

This, I suppose, is unrelated to the advice we usually get around this time of year about rolling your car windows down a little when you leave your dog or grandpa in the car while you run into the supermarket to get a pack of Kools and some crab salad (prepared fresh daily at the deli counter!).

So remember: Dog, window open. Grandpa, window open. Kid, window closed. It’s National Window Safety Week, stupid!

Sauce: Consumer Product Safety Commission