I know what you’ve been thinking lately. You’ve been thinking “I wish there was some sort of unqualified father writing a book that rides on the coattails of his son’s success, which was questionable to begin with.”

Well holy handgrenades, do we have some great news for you: Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s father is writing a book.

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock, Mike Sorrentino is one of the stars of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” series. His complete disregard for being a gentleman and a scholar has skyrocketed him to popularity in the media. It also made us wonder why we were so nice to chicks back in our younger days. Clearly they wanted to be treated like whores. This is why “The Situation” is so popular – he sees through all that cloudy doublespeak that women put out and just treats them like bags of garbage. Way to go, bro.

Anyway, as the morally-rich get richer, Mike’s estranged father, Frank Sorrentino, has decided to write a book. It’ll coincide with the new season of “Jersey Shore,” which sounds suspiciously like people wouldn’t care about if Mike wasn’t on television at that exact moment.

Frank’s take on it: “I covered for Mike his entire life and when I needed his help he left me hanging.” Oh cool, they sound like frat brothers!

Mike, of course, is sad. Like Kicking Bird sad. That’s sad.

Father-son feuds are no joke, and we usually have a rule about not making fun of father-son problems. But that only applies to humans, and Frank and Mike are pieces of crap, so that rule doesn’t apply. Hooray for loopholes!

Sauce: People