If you’ve got anything by Prime-Line in your house that says “Child Safe,” you’re going to want to panic. Hard.

The first group of effected products are Child Safe Bathtub Nonslip Pads (model S 4630). These textured white vinyl whale-shaped pads can come loose – and if they come loose, your kid falls in the shower and dies.

The second group are drawer/cabinet latches (models S 4439 & S 4444) and outlet covers (S 4447 & S 4461). The screws on the latches and outlets can loosen and/or break. And if that happens, there’s a 110% chance that your kid will have his tongue in the outlets and will find your porn stash in the den closet.

If you’ve got any of these products, give Prime-Line a shout at (855) 839-9555 or visit them in digital fashion: www.prime-line-products.com

Check out the CPSC website for more “real” info about these recalls. Or just panic.

Sauces: CPSC (pads) / CPSC (latches)