If you’re the type of dude that’s into monkeys and touching stories about fatherhood, then John Crocker sure is going for your jugular. He studied chimps in Tanzania and worked with Dr. Jane Goodall, the sausage king of Chicago the internationally-known chimpanzee expert.

Crocker talks about taking a chimp named Babu to the park, and how it’s hilariously similar to raising his own kids 38 years later. I’m not calling bulls**t on this, but it seems to me like Crocker’s making a stretch here. Sure, dealing with a chimp in diapers at the park can be like dealing with a kid at the park – but this seems to cut a little too close to my least favorite sentiment that having a pet is like having a kid. Sure, it was different because Crocker was attempting to treat the primate more like a human than a dog, but let’s be honest. Like, let’s really be honest here.

I’m not trying to pick a fight here with Crocker – I’m sure he’s a delightful father and the sheer fact that he’s reflecting on these lessons now while caring for children is – I guess – cool. I’d like to hear the more humorous stories about cleaning up poop or begging the chimp to eat his vegetables and not wolf down his chicken nuggets so fast. Or, the story where Crocker threatens to “turn this car around right now” on a trip upstate.

His sentiment? “For me,” Crocker says, “better than any parenting class or book, was closely observing a skilled chimpanzee mother interact with her three year-old son in the wild.”

You got the wrong books, Johnny.

Sauce: Huffington Post