Think your kid’s going to give you a heart attack? Well, that might be true, but you probably won’t die from it. Your kids, on the other hand, might make your single-no-kid friend croak.

Time reports that researchers from Stanford University School of Medicine found, among other things, that “childless men had a 17%…increased risk of death from cardiovascular disease…and this elevated risk appeared to extend also to men with only one child.” Whoops, guess just having one kid won’t help you either.

The A-Team of researchers included Michael L. Eisenberg, Yikyung Park, Albert R. Hollenbeck, Larry I. Lipshultz, Arthur Schatzkin, and Mark J. Pletcher. You don’t need to know all of those names, but we wanted to make sure you could re-adjust your fantasy medical researcher team accordingly.

Researchers admit that they didn’t account for other lifestyle and health factors including cholesterol, blood pressure, or even simple social things like having family pets and friends.

If you want to read more or track your fantasy team, check the sauce for the deets.

BTW, the study was published in the Oxford Journal of Human Reproduction. For bonus points, find the Oxford comma in this post.