Well, we knew it was too bad to be true: Justin Bieber is about to be cleared from claims that he fathered a baby with Mariah Yeater.

We’ll keep this brief since you’ve probably been drowning in Bieber news elsewhere. TMZ reports that Yeater’s friend ratted out some damning text messages from her, asking for someone to erase her mother’s text messages naming a different father. There’s also mention in the text of paying the person off once “we get paid.”

So, that’s (probably) that.

Sorry Justin, we canceled all the cool stuff we rented for your dadchelor party – the keg you weren’t going to drink from, the chocolate fountain (you probably were going to drink from), the inflatable bounce house. And, well, we had a crap-ton of diapers for you, but we’ve still got the receipts so we’re taking those back.