…or, that was my takeaway from the infomercial. And it’s not just for fathers! If you’re a man that hates the sound of your wife’s voice, the My Zone Headphones are for you!

The poor dude above is a remorseful father. He often sits in his lounge chair and thinks back to his single days, when he’d hang out with his buddies all weekend, throw back a couple cases of beer and talk about how rad that one time in high school was when they all got some drunk senior chick from another school to show her boobs under the bleachers at homecoming. This dude just needs some sort of time machine to get him back to a more peaceful time when he didn’t have kids getting in the way, leaving their toys in the hallway and totally ruining his Saturday morning buzz.

The answer, inevitably, is My Zone Headphones, infomercial after the jump.

I don’t know what it is about infomercials, but they seem to push the idea that dads want nothing more than to escape their family. Is that the target audience of all infomercials? Is that what dads are putting out there? That they need, desperately in the case of the dude above, to be whisked away from their kids?

Let’s see what the good folks at My Zone Headphones think:

First, a disclosure: I own two pairs of Turtle Beach gaming headsets, and I did indeed say in my review that it helped for times when my wife was on the phone and I was gaming, which I guess makes us like the old couple in the commercial above, except we were more polite about it – I didn’t just slap my headphones on and wave my hand at her like she was some talky whoremouth.

So I realize that going after an infomercial for making dads look dumb is like going after buffets for making people look fat. That’s why I’ll just say this: if you’ve got a product and are making a commercial for it, don’t make dads look like they want nothing more than to escape our families. Show us in bed not wanting to wake our wives? Sure. Show us mowing the lawn outside while listening to a Star Wars movie playing on the living room TV? Totally.

But when you make it look like we think our kids are inconveniences and we want to escape them? NOW YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR.

Fathers, don’t let the terrorists win; don’t buy these things. And if you’re a gamer, totally get a pair of Turtle Beach headphones – they’ll work for your video game consoles and (I’m pretty sure) for the television also.