This commercial’s been floating around since the Oscars, but we let it go just to create a false sense of security. But, it’s been long enough, and Hyundai had its fun. Time to die.

Hyundai, your Azera commercial “Modern Life” does not depict modern life at all, propagates the untruth that fathers are incapable parents and cooks, and is insulting to mothers. So shame on you.

First, thanks to Kat Gordon of Maternal Instinct for pointing me to this terrible commercial.

Second, check out this hunk of crap:

Let’s first talk about the mother in the commercial. She’s laying in her car, escaping the madness inside her home. If you’re a total simpleton or a mom that hates her family, it’s totally funny that she’s so cunning that she’s lying to her husband about being in bumper-to-bumper traffic while she’s resting in the driveway.

But the truth is that she is, indeed, lying to her husband, and she’s somehow afraid to say “hey husband – I need a night to myself to unwind.” It makes her look like a sneaky liar, not a hardworking mother getting much-deserved rest.

Okay, so, I get it – this commercial is steeped in hyperbole. There’s seven kids: one on a drum set, one making a science fair volcano, one witch controlling an RC helicopter, one grating a mountain of cheese, one in a scuba suit, one in a robot suit eating frozen peas, and one which is actually sitting up in the cupboard. The dad is on – get this – a corded landline. So, clearly, this commercial is either showing me some alternate universe where men never got past 1982, or this is supposed to be some sort of Wes Anderson scene. Oh, wait, it is a Wes Anderson scene.

Either way, it’s uproariously funny to see dad waffling in the kitchen, panicking and begging for mom to rush home. Because clearly, men don’t know anything about cooking or parenting. If you’re a dad and like this commercial, grow a pair. If you’re a mom and like this commercial, you don’t realize you’re being insulted.

It’s disheartening to see this sort of thing, considering there have been some great dad commercials in the car industry lately. Take Volkswagen for example. In their commercial, “Is It Fast,” we see humor and a responsible dad:

BTW, Volkswagen scored last year also with their “The Force” commercial, where dad makes a kid’s dreams of having medichlorians come true. Also, (we mentioned this already) Chevy had a good showing as well, for having a commercial that celebrated dad, didn’t insult anyone, and did you notice? The boy is playing happily with both gender’s stereotypical toys – action figures and trucks, and My Little Pony and a dollhouse.

People of Hyundai, take note. Wes Anderson, take note.

We are fathers. We know our way around the kitchen. We cook, we clean, we aptly raise our kids, whether there’s one or seven. And if mom needs a break, she should confide in her life partner and mention it, and we’ll happily hold down the fort. No need for lies, no need to sleep in the car. That’s what bad marriages on the verge of divorce look like.

We’re watching you, and we expect better next time.