There’s ‘an hilarious’ article up on the Rants From Mommyland that goes into detail about WHERE you should NOT take a toddler. It lists the 5 places as:

  1. The pediatrician
  2. The barber shop
  3. Shoe shopping
  4. The library
  5. A restaurant

I read it, and I really wanted to like it so I could begin my day on a positive note and bait it like The Consumerist and say OH SNAP TOTES TRUTH BITCHES!!1one!… but I just can’t.

The Consumerist blogger, Mr. Phillip, invites you on this fantastic voyage with the first set of gentle (yet manly) key strokes, “Some parents think its adorable for their tykes to scream their ABCs in public or use waiting room chairs as jungle gyms. Most others, though, are simply annoyed by the presence of unruly rugrats and would rather not be subjected to their antics while they try to take care of business.”

Damn you, children… YOU USELESS PUSTULES. If ONLY there were suitable mentors to assist in the disciplining of these barbaric and soulless monkeys then ALL of our problems would cease to exist and NOT have to be treated with alcohol and prescription drugs!

WHY DIDN’T WE JUST GET KITTENS! F*CK!

The main issue I have with Guru Louise‘s article is it suggests that children should not play a role in society; that you have to magically merge back into an alternate universe where doing all the shit you used to do before you had kids is still entirely possible.

There’s one paragraph that really stood out to me – she writes about visiting the library, “When we’re the only visiting family then our clamor reverberates through the whole building. Last week my daughter got yelled at for running through the stacks while my son was simultaneously de-shelving every single DVD in the children’s section, wildly searching for Bob the Builder. Good times, good times. You can go suck it, library.”

I don’t think the library is the problem, sweetheart. The library is innocent; same thing with the shoe store:

So I picked up all her stuff and wheeled everything to the front of the store and she started telling me how embarrassed she was…and I just said, “Sweetie, it’s not you. It’s the shoe store. It makes children evil.” Then my son smacked some other kid in the eye with a foot measuring device and we had to leave with no shoes. EVIL.

Blaming a public business for your children’s behavior is such a huge ego preserving deflection from any form of parental responsibilities. Deal with it.

So no one’s claiming studies or statistics in Louise’s rant, and it appears to be all in good fun, such as the male junk shot, “my daughter was gesturing and telling a story in an animated way and accidentally punched a waiter in the nuts as he was passing by with a tray of drinks”.

Hilarious.

So maybe her experience is echoed by other stay-at-home-moms? Maybe she’s the one that sucks at disciplining her kids? What do you think?

Tell us in the comments below!