Marcella Marino’s father, cleverly named “Marcello”, styled his 4-year-old daughter’s updo with Lady Gaga precision for a school photo at her reception class. A pretty epic accomplishment for any father, he flawlessly worked her hair into a bow (which he has done more than once).
The fashion police school managed to uphold the dress code to an overzealous extent. The “code” (regarding hair) for the Holy Trinity Primary School requests that ribbons or bows are “made of dark colors, maroon/navy blue/black” and states strictly that “hair braids/beads may not be worn.”
The fact is, Christian/Catholic schools are a pain in the ass when it comes to this kind of bullsh*t. I know, because I went to a private Catholic school and I also had long hair back then. This was, of course, in the late 1980s. You know, when long hair wasn’t “cool” during the days of Mötley Crüe, Guns N’ Roses, and Poison.
If you ever wanted to know how and why humanity is doomed to fail, look no further than the commercials interspersed during your kids’ favorite television shows. Though there’s been a recent resurgence of cool superhero stuff out there in toy stores, not all kid products are created equal. Among the newly-gendered LEGO sets, NERF sniper rifles and we-swear-its-not-just-marshmallows cereal commercials, you see just how low humanity can get.
How low? Well, let’s just put it this way: imagine everything you can exist without owning. Now take those ideas and make them worse.
Then head over to the next page for three prime examples (plus a bonus!) of why the meteor needs to end us sooner rather than later.
A recent infographic about fatherhood involvement is poppin’ dad boners all over the place. There’s some great nuts and bolts info on it, such as the figures above, which show that dads are just as social-network-ally interactive as mothers, if not more.
But (and if you know this site, you know that there’s unfortunately always a “but”), did you catch that intro paragraph by Kristin Marino? Most of it is just fine – “blah blah blah, dads, blah blah online.” But the line that stood out to me was:
“Blogs, message boards, and other versions of social media geared to moms are the high-tech versions of this meeting of the minds. But it’s time for moms to move over, because modern dads are using their social media skills to brag and commiserate about their offspring and fatherhood.”
So, when moms are online, it’s a “meeting of the minds,” but when dads are online, they’re bragging and commiserating. Because where mom is intellectual, dad is just being a man, either boasting or complaining? I hate to make this a true statement by complaining about it – but c’mon. SRSLY?
I know I’m reading too far into this probably-innocent statement, but if I may be so bold, I suggest that it’s this kind of thinking that’s still keeping fathers judged unfairly in the parent-consumer market. Brands simply think that moms are making all of the thoughtful purchases and that dads are kicking back online and complaining about their wives or showing off their new motorcycle on Instagram.
Well suck an egg.
What’s that? An infographic, you say? Yeah, there’s that too. And before you get out your magnifying glass – no, they did not mention 8BitDad in their “Popular dads with something to say online” section.