Dan Marino

News emerged this morning of a child that he fathered created with someone who wasn’t his wife. Classy!

Donna Savattere, then a 35 year old production assistant at CBS Sports, has been reportedly paid to stay quiet for years, while raising Chloe, their now-seven year old daughter.

Marino and his wife Claire have six kids together, and he insists that it’s still going strong after 28 years. The news of Marino’s affair was published merely one day after Marino’s anniversary – how’s that for setting the scene for the TV movie?

Marino acknowledged the affair and told the New York Post that this is a “personal and private matter,” adding that he takes “full responsibility both personally and financially” for the situation. He also mentioned that keeping it quiet was a mutual agreement “to protect all parties involved.”

Donna Savattere currently lives in New York with her husband and their two children. And when I say “their” and “two”, I mean one child from sperm donor Dan Marino and one of their own.

Meanwhile, CBS says that Marino will still be a cohost for their “Super Bowl Today” show during the Super Bowl on Sunday.

There is also no news or statement expected from the Dan Marino Foundation, an organization that Marino and his wife set up in 1992 to create “awareness and opportunities” for kids and adults living with autism and special needs.

We’re hoping his daughter with Savattere, Chloe, has lived a normal life, has been loved and taken care of, and will grow up with this news being as minimal as it could be.

I’m resisting the urge to tell Dan Marino to die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Want a cookie?