There’s just no witty way for me to intro this new site called Crazy Dad E-mails. I’d gotten the link from one of my editors who described it as a “Tumblr of collected strange letters and package contents from his dad, who is a flat-earth conspiracy theorist – among other things.”
If you’ve ever thought your dad was batsh*t crazy after he’s e-mailed you, believe me, he’s got nothing on Crazy Dad E-mails.
Here’s one entry called “As Seen on TV!”
SON……I have 3 OrGreen pans……..took 6 months..This is a “SHAVE” perpetrated and perpetuated on we the American Consumer….The company address you may recall is in Switzerland….an attempt to bilk $$$$ by those krauts….oldest scam in the “BOOK”…….these products which are deficient in everyway are oft never even shipped…SQUIRRELY that is me….That is me…These squirrels are amazing…We have one we call white head…Ask me about him and his differences…LUVU..
The madness continues and you get used to the dad’s inimitable cadence and the constant ellipses.
The one thing we’d like to know: is the dad in Crazy Dad E-mails real? After all, @DadBoner got outed as the brainchild of comedian Mike Burns by Deadspin‘s Drew Magary somewhere along the way. But again, the style in these e-mails is so rough and hard to imitate fully in-character that I’m compelled to think it’s true. Plus, you read this stuff and immediately think of some old codger in your life that could be writing these e-mails if only they had a computer.
Anyway, we know here at 8BitDad that you love to be on the bleeding edge of the internet, so here you are. Don’t get too much blood on you or Crazy Dad might think you’re an enemy and stick you with his defense pencil.