Max & Ruby: Liberated Minors

Max and Ruby Alone

I don’t agree with her language either.

Look, Max and Ruby have had it tough. They were born in a bad neighborhood in Alberta (what’s with Canadians, amirite?). First, Ruby, a little bunny that had to step in as caretaker whenever her mother and father were out an all-night bunny-bender. Ruby spent the better part of her youth caring for siblings, who one by one, ran away from home.

Then, Max came along. “I’m not going to let this one hop away,” she said. Ruby persuaded her grandmother to take her parents to court for custody. She won, and Ruby, now 7 and 3 year old Max, lived with her. In the wake of this, Max and Ruby’s parents left town with a pickup truck full of scrap metal and body paint to attend Burning Man in California. They never returned.

But Ruby wasn’t content. With her Bunny Scout skills and street knowledge, Ruby felt life had burned her too hard to live under someone else’s roof. She could get along fine taking care of the rambunctious Max. The grandmother awoke one night to find a note stuck into her bedpost declaring that the two bunnies would be back living at their parent’s abandoned house. The note also said not to tell anyone that they were living on their own because “bunny snitches get bunny stitches.”

Max and Ruby Selling

The bills got paid, and the Bunny Scouts were none the wiser.

Max and Ruby moved back into the house, never remodeling. Ruby enrolled in school and re-enrolled in Bunny Scouts as to not arouse suspicion. From time to time, Max and Ruby do things with the grandmother rabbit, whose fear you can see in her eyes as she watches her grandkids living without rules and parents. The world is none-the-wiser, and all grandmother rabbit can do is smile and play along because she doesn’t want bunny stitches.

I know that this is a lot to take in. But I felt like you, dear readers, needed to know the truth. The ugly truth…that Caillou isn’t about a lovable child. That Curious George is not simply about an odd house pet. That Max & Ruby are not simply kids whose parents stay in their room. The people have to know these stories, and I’m glad I was the one to tell you.