Any dad that’s worn a baby carrier knows that there’s a sweet, bundle of joy in front of you that you’ve got to protect. And that is, of course, your testicles.
Look, you’re a good dad and you’ve got a handle on that fatherhood thing. But getting kicked in the junk is not fun. That’s why the Kiccup exists – it’s a shield that hangs below your baby carrier and protects you from wild baby-kicks.
Every warrior needs armor, and gentlemen, if you’re not protecting your meatballs, then what in the world are we doing here? Amirite or amirite?
Making fun of dads because they are “pretty much just giant children” is soooooooo 2011. Maybe y’all ain’t heard, but dads are getting all sorts of respect lately – not because they’re doing anything different, but because – ugh – who didn’t want to loosen up the grip a little, amirite?
Buzzfeed didn’t get the memo, so they put out an hilarious article titled “24 Reasons Kids Should Never Be Left Alone With Their Dads“. And besides some of the photos being genuinely funny with no real gender-specific blame to lather onto dad, it’s just kind of, well, you know…phoned-in.
But here’s the thing: when you beat dads down over and over and make moms distrustful of them (even in jest), all it makes society say is “don’t leave your kids alone with dad – you KNOW what they do!” And then guess who has to deal with the pressure of raising kids, working, and doing their damn thing? Moms. So lay off, kk?
In light of this, I present to you 24 reasons (plus a bonus, you motherlovers) your kids should be left alone with their dads.
Lowe’s wants you to know that if mom wants to go out and buy stuff for the home while dad’s at home playing with the kids, that’s totally cool. And the result, not-surprisingly, is that it’s totally cool. But then Lowe’s also wants you to know that if mom is on a business trip and dad’s home with the kids for longer than an afternoon, well…hold onto your pantsuits.
All three spots are by BBDO, which was also responsible for a couple of dadcentric commercials this year, including a good one for AT&T, starring paralympian Heath Calhoun, and a less-good one for Embassy Suites. This makes BBDO an agency to watch in the fatherhood market; they get it. Even if BBDO isn’t hitting the bullseye every time, they’re aiming for the target.
Okay, I get it. Fathers are the protectors of their daughters, and so when a boy comes to pick them up for prom, the totally rational, logical and hilarious thing to do is to get out your gun and take a photo that says – in its worth of 1,000 words – “if this boy touches my daughter, I’m going to shoot him.”
So, Bossip, “the premier destination for African-American and Black celebrity gossip, Black reality shows, pop culture and entertainment news” (their words, not mine), ran a gallery of armed dads posing with their daughters and the daughters’ prom dates. And what you see next, as Upworthy would say, will change your life. Or not.
But here’s my real question: is this funny? Or are we too judgy?