Prison Dad

If our visitor metrics are correct, we’ve got three people that read 8BitDad from within prison libraries. First of all, thank you! Second of all, we’re sorry that your sons are going to be dumb.

Before you petition for release and come kill me, please understand that this is science talking. Not 8BitDad…science.

In case your November issue of Psychological Science got lost in the mail, here are the details: the study was conducted by researchers from Sweden’s Karolinska Institutet, “to estimate associations between fathers’ criminal-conviction status and sons’ cognitive ability assessed at compulsory military conscription.” The register data for over 1 million Swedish adolescent men and their parents was analyzed.

Researchers found that there was indeed a link between sons’ cognitive ability and their father’s criminal activity. Specifically, if dad had been convicted of a crime (from five categories listed below), the sons rated lower in cognitive ability.

The criminal behaviors rated were broken down into five subtypes: nonsexual violent, sexual, drug-related, property-related, and traffic-related crimes. And cognitive ability was assessed via the Swedish Enlistment Battery, which is administered during military-conscription testing.

I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking “but I bet the association between fathers’ antisocial behavior and sons’ cognitive ability must be casual.” That’s why the researchers concluded that…

…the association between fathers’ antisocial behavior and sons’ cognitive ability is unlikely to be causal and instead reflects confounding by genetic and extended-family influences. Our results suggest that poor cognitive ability is one of the factors associated with the inherited risk for antisocial behavior.

So, that’s that. Because of reasons, if your dad is a criminal, you’re a little bit more stupider. Please direct all violent retaliations to: science.