Your Childhood Will Not Be Ruined If "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Sucks

We all just watched that new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, right?

It was… solid. Intriguing, nostalgic, raised more questions than it answered. (Still no Luke? The Force is a myth again? Why do Star Wars people always forget about magic religions within one generation? Who is Rey? Why does hyperspace look different? Is this the first time we’ve ever had in-atmosphere X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter battles? Because they look AWESOME.)


How do you feel? Excited? Anxious? Angry? Ready to tear you hair out because when, when, WHEN WILL IT BE DECEMBER 18TH ALREADY?!

I can sympathize. Some of us have been through this before, sitting there, listening to your heartbeat thundering in your ears, after buying a ticket to Freddie Prinze Jr.’s Wing Commander just to get your first-ever glimpse of The Phantom Menace. (Which, trust me, is MUCH worse than just tolerating a few hours of Monday Night Football.)

And, as a veteran of “Star Wars anticipatory mania” – because what else can you call it? – I can tell you that there are TWO things you need to know, right now, about The Force Awakens, particularly after watching that jaw-dropping trailer.

1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens might suck.

2. And that’s OK.

Because even though J.J. Abrams seems to be saying all the right things… even though the cast, the sets, the crew, the poster all feel right… even though that moment of Han saying “Chewie, we’re home” in that second trailer hit you harder in the nostalgic f