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About Justin Westbrook

Justin is married and has two sons plus one daughter. He spent his childhood locked in a room with his NES and his AD&D manuals, when he wasn't out chasing chickens. He spends a great deal of time now trying to sound smarter than he really is.
Latest Posts | By Justin Westbrook
Baby Pees Down Dad’s Neck. Dad Drives On Like A Boss
6 years ago

Baby Pees Down Dad’s Neck. Dad Drives On Like A Boss

If this has happened to you before, you’re probably sitting there right now, just nodding slowly with a big grin on your face.

Just like I am.

Deadbeat Congressman Awarded 100% “Family Values” Rating, This 8-Bit Dad Balks!
6 years ago

Deadbeat Congressman Awarded 100% “Family Values” Rating, This 8-Bit Dad Balks!

By  •  News

We don’t always award the prestigious “Scumbag-Father-O-The-Week Award” to back-to-back elected officials…but when we do it’s because they’ve either whipped the ever-loving piss out of their disabled daughters, or they’ve recently been recognized for their “commitment to uphold the institutions of marriage and family” while, at the same time, being a vindictive divorcé as well as a deadbeat dad.

Illinois Representative Joe Walsh (R-8th congressional district) is this week’s honoree, after being awarded a 100% rating for “True Blue Members” by the Family Research Council (FRC). The FRC is a “social conservative advocacy non-profit” that equivocates “faith and freedom” issues, such as anti-abortion support and repeal of Health Care Reform, with so-called “pro-family values.” We’ve all probably got different definitions for what “pro-family values” are, but I think of one possible “family values” issue is spending time together. I’m inclined to believe that Rep. Walsh is not an advocate of paid paternity leave. He would probably consider it socialism, and that would probably drop his 100% FRC rating to a 0.04% rating. And Walsh is no socialist. He’s 100% “True Blue,” basically doing whatever it is the FRC tells him to do.

But his politics isn’t really why I’m calling shenanigans about this award (and even more importantly, calling Rep. Walsh a bastard). Check out this scumbag’s full rap sheet after the jump, and you tell me if this guy is a “True Blue” family man.

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8BD Is Already #WINNING Babble.com’s Top 50 Dad Blogs Contest! (Alphabetically Speaking)
6 years ago

8BD Is Already #WINNING Babble.com’s Top 50 Dad Blogs Contest! (Alphabetically Speaking)

By  •  News

Have you already voted for 8BitDad.com on Babble.com’s contest for most popular dad blog? If you haven’t, please do so, and then go back tomorrow and do it …
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Jimmy Kimmel Gets Parents To Tell Their Kids They Ate All The Halloween Candy, Tragic Hilarity Ensues
6 years ago

Jimmy Kimmel Gets Parents To Tell Their Kids They Ate All The Halloween Candy, Tragic Hilarity Ensues

Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel says that he “didn’t expect so much crying” after he challenged parents on Monday night to film their kids’ reactions as they told …
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8-Bit Epic Sax Guy? Yes, Please!!!
6 years ago

8-Bit Epic Sax Guy? Yes, Please!!!

If you’re not already of fan of Epic Sax Guy, first of all…get there! But if you already are, you’ll probably dig the 8-bit version put up by …
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8BitDad Slacker Premium Radio Giveaway – What Could Go Wrong?
6 years ago

8BitDad Slacker Premium Radio Giveaway – What Could Go Wrong?

By  •  News

Last time I was here talking about a Slacker Premium Radio promotion asking the question: “what could go wrong?” Well, apparently the only thing that went wrong is that Slacker noticed the review, and decided to let 8BitDad do a giveaway for THREE 3-month Premium Radio subscriptions.

So that is definitely a thing that is awesome.

In case you missed the review, Slacker Radio is a radio service that is available online and on your mobile device. You can get a free subscription and gain access to the entire Slacker library(over 8 million songs), which is compiled by similarities in music and by human music experts who have custom-made many of the 150+ stations available on Slacker. Alternatively, you can custom-program your OWN station (assuming you don’t entirely trust the Slacker experts….orrrrrrrr, if you’re just a snob). You can also get a Plus subscription, which gives you access to unlimited skips and you can cache particular stations so that you can use Slacker on your mobile without a signal or Wi-Fi connection.

The Premium subscription takes it to the next level, giving you on-demand access to any song in the Slacker library, unlimited playback of any song, and all the goodies that are part of the free and plus subscriptions. It takes all the best features from other services like Pandora and Spotify, injects them with steroids, and combines them into one rad service. Now, with the support of Slacker Radio, 8BitDad is prepared to give away three of these 3-month subscriptions to our readers.

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Holy Crap Review! Old Spice Inadvertently Makes The World’s Best Bubble Bath
6 years ago

Holy Crap Review! Old Spice Inadvertently Makes The World’s Best Bubble Bath

You know those Bud Light “Real Men of Genius” ads you hear on the radio? Well, I can hear another one spinning up right now… “Reeeeaaaal Men of GeeeniusssssssssHere’s to you, Mr. Dad who forgot to pick up more bubble bath for the kids, and had to use his own new shower soap to pacify the kid’s demands for bubbles at bath time. Like Charles Goodyear who accidentally invented vulcanized rubber, or that other jack-wagon who invented silly putty, you single-handedly discovered the best possible use for Old Spice Hair-Body Wash 2-in-1 – making epic amounts of durable bubbles for your kids to play in.”

And that’s exactly what happened about a week ago when I ran out of bubble bath for the kids.

Now we’ve reviewed bubble bath products before, and recommended them merely on the lack of any alternative products out there. We are still right about making that call, because all baby bath and bubble products are crap. Trust me. I’ve tried them all. If you find one I haven’t tried, I defy you post the name of it here, and I will try it.

Or maybe I won’t, because Old Spice just unintentionally solved the problem of crappy bubble bath. Period.

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Daddies Away: G.I. Dad & G.I. Son Finally Get Some Bonding Time In Iraq
6 years ago

Daddies Away: G.I. Dad & G.I. Son Finally Get Some Bonding Time In Iraq

 

One of the best things to ever happen to First Sergeant Patrick Thomas and Private Tyler Thomas’ father-son relationship has been a recent deployment Iraq, where both are currently working as part of Operation New Dawn. Talk about a family vacation.

The Thomas family has a strong heritage of Army service. Patrick’s dad (and Tyler’s grandpa) was a Sergeant Major, the highest enlisted grade in the Army. With that in mind, it probably makes sense that Patrick would describe his and son Tyler’s relationship as “the typical father and son relationship,” even though he was deployed during Tyler’s birth during Operation Desert Shield and has admittedly spent a lot of time away from home working the kind of long hours the military is known for. When your dad is a career Army dude, this is probably how you think of “the typical father and son relationship.”

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