We should’ve seen it coming. After the #WheresNatasha and #WheresGamora campaigns – hashtags that called out the lack of female representation in the merchandise for Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy – WHY did anyone assume that Disney, toy manufacturers, or retailers would’ve learned their lesson for Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Were we that naïve? Did we just not want to admit what we all KNEW was going to happen? That, even though Daisy Ridley’s Rey was the LEAD CHARACTER in the whole damn film, she would be almost impossible to find on Force Awakens merchandise. Because that’s EXACTLY what happened. Hence the inevitable hashtag #WheresRey.
It has been zero days since my last heartburn.
Welcome to the holiday season – a stretch of calendar days where people of every culture have at least one day set aside for gift giving and eating. Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, I am in a constant state of satisfaction and indigestion. Should I be eating all of the foods? At once? YES AND YUM.
We all just watched that new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, right?
It was… solid. Intriguing, nostalgic, raised more questions than it answered. (Still no Luke? The Force is a myth again? Why do Star Wars people always forget about magic religions within one generation? Who is Rey? Why does hyperspace look different? Is this the first time we’ve ever had in-atmosphere X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter battles? Because they look AWESOME.)
Everyone writes these great stories about the things about fatherhood that surprised them. Wonderful, pie-in-the-sky stuff, like how first-time-father-dudes never truly knew how to love until they saw their child’s eyes. Or the surprise of having to learn how to do girl’s hair as the father of a daughter.
That’s all totally valid.
But there are a lot of things that are very not-shocking about fatherhood. Things that, when they happen, you saw them from so far away that you actually forgot about them until they were right there, running you over.
There are a lot of surprising things about fatherhood, but there are a lot of no-brainers, obvi…
Dear every other parent in the drop-off / pick-up line at school tomorrow,
I know that school just started. I know that it’s an exciting time for you and for your small child. But please, please, pretty fucking please, stay in your line. I know it’s tough…I’m sympathetic to your pain. I’m in line too.
Thing is, we’re all in line. So get your ass where it needs to be and inch forward like everyone else. Thumbs up emoji.
So Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is all over the social news today because wife, Kristin Cavallari, lit him up on Instagram for not being able to handle the rigors of parenthood.
Cutler was alone with his two sons (a 2 year old and an 8 month old) for some period of time while Cavallari was out of town, and as she announced her arrival (“the eagle has landed”), she faced a barrage of panic (that you can see above), ending in “I’m about to leave”. And hey, it might have been a joke, who knows.
But all I’m here to say – to you dear readers, and to Jay Cutler – is: I get it.
I can’t think of old style video game arcades without getting a little misty. Those loud, dark rooms, packed with upright arcade machines, all singing to themselves, ready to explode when someone dropped a quarter into them…it was magic.
A magic that, frankly, kids these days don’t get.