Parents! Touch down your helicopters and pull away from your Excel-based poop schedule pivot tables and put down your “baby’s first binary” flash cards. This is something that’s gonna really rev your rotors.
So there’s this new thing called the Sproutling, which – TL;DR – gives you full-on info about your baby right on a phone app. See, now you won’t even have to peel yourself off Facebook or Candy Crush to check on your baby. Not that you ever thought you’d have to.
The Sproutling is currently taking preorders and will be shipping March 2015. That’s like, the future, Marty.
General Mills Canada knocked one out of the park with their commercial for Peanut Butter Cheerios that started airing this week.
In the commercial titled “#HowToDad” by Toronto agency Tribal Worldwide, we see a dad. Owning it. Hard. Hashtag. Et cetera.
So, like…we’d do anything for our kids, right? Anything. As in, your kid wants to take up soccer, you buy them cleats. Your kid wants a LEGO minifig that isn’t in stores anymore, you hop online and get it for their birthday. Your kid needs a good education, so you put in more hours at work to afford the right school. Your kid wants to be a princess, so you go to Africa, plant a flag on some disputed land and claim it as your own.
WHOA WHOA WHOA, back up. Which LEGO minifig? Those things get expensive when they’re discontinued.
Some dude obviously read our intro and was all “Yep. BRB OMW 2 Africa BBL.” That’s what Virginia dad Jeremiah Heaton did at least.
Malaysian dude and father of two, Ray Teng, wanted to create something that would help if his children were to ever find themselves in trouble. He created a software solution-turned-wearable panic button that will broadcast a child’s whereabouts both to their guardian list, as well as other nearby network users. That way, if a child is kidnapped, not only will parents receive notification, but people with the app nearby can snap to action, looking for anything suspicious.
Teng is part of the team at WaryBee, which now fashions their wearable beacon creation inconspicuously as jewelry. First, Teng and his team tried software triggered by motion activation and voice activation. But the false positives weren’t working. That’s how the idea for wearable tech styled like jewelry came about.
Okay, I get it. Fathers are the protectors of their daughters, and so when a boy comes to pick them up for prom, the totally rational, logical and hilarious thing to do is to get out your gun and take a photo that says – in its worth of 1,000 words – “if this boy touches my daughter, I’m going to shoot him.”
So, Bossip, “the premier destination for African-American and Black celebrity gossip, Black reality shows, pop culture and entertainment news” (their words, not mine), ran a gallery of armed dads posing with their daughters and the daughters’ prom dates. And what you see next, as Upworthy would say, will change your life. Or not.
But here’s my real question: is this funny? Or are we too judgy?
What happens when an online card vendor wants to “win” the Mother’s Day season? They create a viral video. And that’s just what American Greetings (for Cardstore.com) did with the help of ad agency Mullen. And if your vagina doesn’t tremble with love and happiness after seeing this video, then you’re probably not human. Or something.
The video, “World’s Toughest Job” is a well-meaning stunt meant to make people think about how much mothers do for their families. But it all comes off as martyr-mom falsehoods that insult more people than it compliments, including moms.
Major League Baseball has its first tiff of the season, but it’s not among players. It’s not because someone got hit by a pitch, or because someone slid into second base with their cleats too high. What happened was much more sinister: Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy missed his second game of the season Wednesday night while on paternity leave.
Oh sure. You don’t think that it’s a big deal. But according to professional meathead WFAN radio hosts Craig Carton and (former NFL quarterback) Boomer Esiason, Murphy’s time home with his newborn is nothing short of a waste of time. One of these sweethearts would actually rather see his wife undergo surgery than miss Opening Day.