As our collectively-linked dad boners are telling us through giant, blue-veined throbs and pant-shredding splits, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is like minutes away from ushering in a whole new universe of catchphrases, toys, cartoons, (more) movies, books, comics, stuff, stuff and more stuff. And lightsabers, possibly in new colors.
But if you somehow managed to live with Star Wars virgins in your household for this many years without mundanely crapping out vital plotpoints to them when your smug Star Wars jokes that killed in college have been falling flat on their Alderaanian asses at the dinner table, then you’ve been shaking your fist at your obviously inferior family members, threatening them with showing them the movies “IN THE CORRECT ORDER” before they’re “allowed” to see The Force Awakens.
Success comes nine months after dad bloggers Voltron’d together to lay pressure on Amazon to change its baby-stuff program, “Amazon Mom“, to “Amazon Family“!
The back story: As early as 2010, dad blogger Oren Miller wrote about Amazon Mom on his site, A Blogger and a Father. Another dad, Chris Routly, wrote about the Amazon Mom problem on his site, Daddy Doctrines in 2012. Somewhere along the line, a dude named Jeffrey Harrington started a Change.org petition about the same issue. When Oren Miller passed in late February of this year, dad bloggers not only renewed their efforts, but went ten-fold to honor their friend. You can read our article on the matter here.
The holidays are a time of family. Awkward family you haven’t seen in foreves. I mean, sure, you follow them on Facebook, but once you’ve covered the catching-up phase, what do you do?
My suggestion: make the holidays a time of family gaming. I think you can, and I think it’s easy. But it’s not a one-size fits all approach. There are plenty of great board games, card games and video games out for folks of all ages – and with a little forethought, you can be the hero that emcees the whole thing.
Here are some suggestions of games you can break out once family starts showing up, and there’s bound to be something for everyone.
Star Wars Battlefront has faced some mixed reviews in its first week; it’s a fun couch co-op game, but reviewers almost unanimously mourn the lack of both more single and multiplayer content. Nevertheless, it’s a really fun game, and even more fun to play with your kids. Just one tip: first, get ’em a fake I.D.
Before you hop in the car and drive to some shady alley downtown, you won’t need a real fake I.D. But it might take some number-fudging and superfluous accounts to get your children playing Star Wars Battlefront online. Keep reading for a step-by-step process to get them online.
Super Mario Bros. 3 is still an incredible game. We thought we’d pay a little homage to it the best way we know how: asking you which of Super Mario Bros. 3‘s powerups best describes your parenting style.
Are you firey? Do you throw hammers? Do you avoid parenting duties by standing still like a statue? We made a graphic that’ll help you decide…
There’s a unique generational thing going on right now – the stuff that we enjoyed as kids is all cool again. I can’t think of many toys I had as a kid in the 1980s that represented brands and characters that my parents also loved as kids. The opposite is true for my son and I now – I can’t think of many brands and characters that my son and I don’t love together. This means that toy companies like Playskool are making toys for my son…but deviously so, they appeal to me too.
So here’s the thing about Super Mario Maker: you can never go back.There’s no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. Once you know that you can make Super Mario Bros. levels, you can’t just play Super Mario Bros.anymore. I know this because I tried. For funsies, I revisited Super Mario Bros. 1, and immediately, I sized everything up with Maker eyes:
“It’d be cool if they put an invisible block here…”
“I wonder if a second Koopa Troopa here would trip you up…”
“THIS WOULD KICK ASS WITH MORE FIRE FIRE FIIIIRRRRREEEEEEEE”
You get the point.
It’s the second day of autumn, and if you haven’t already talked to your children about pumpkin spice, it might already be too late.
Pumpkin spice is a wonderful and warm mix of cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, ginger and cloves. It signals the coming of the autumnal holidays of Halloween and Thanksgiving, easing folks into the also-cinnamon-drenched Christmas season that begins the moment the last person at your Thanksgiving dinner table puts their dessert fork down.
Pumpkin spice is also a historically-weird thing; it’s got a vague rise to American stardom, mired in really, terribly imperialist beginnings. But, but, but – it’s still delicious, you say! It still works in sweet and savory things alike!
But that’s exactly why you need to talk to your kids about pumpkin spice.