There’s a dad in New Jersey who is “furious” that Hasbro’s Star Wars Black Series Slave Leia action figure is in toy stores. “That’s pretty inappropriate. I got 2 daughters I don’t need seeing that crap,” he told FOX 29 News Philadelphia.
So I want to know – is the Slave Leia action figure appropriate for toy shelves? Should it be relegated to online-only sales so kids won’t see it in the store?
There are a lot of different kinds of dads on Instagram. There’s the “blurry vacation photos hurriedly taken on his iPhone” dad. There’s the high-end photographer “I-just-spent-two-hours-taking-the-perfect-shot-of-that-butterfly” dad. There’s the “I just like taking pictures of my grill/Corvette/Settlers of Catan board” dad. But, despite the sheer number of shutterbug dads out there, we can honestly say that there aren’t ANY dads on Instagram quite like Michael Gump.
If you’re not familiar with Gump’s work, you NEED to check out his Instagram account @bobbugs (or the IG hashtag #GumpMasterofDisguise) and prepare to have your mind blown. Almost every day, Gump posts a picture of himself in disguise, but we’re not talking about glasses and a fake mustache. We’re talking about insane, over-the-top, blisteringly creative disguises, in which Gump regularly transforms himself from the neck up into veritable works of art.
Yesterday was the last day of E3 2015. I got a chance to attend and check out some of the really cool upcoming games — Street Fighter V! Disney Infinity 3.0! Mario Maker! — and even got to take selfies with some of my favorite industry personalities. But 10 years ago, I was taking a whole different kind of photo.
2005: E3 has been bubbling up in the early 2000’s and at the show, it’s getting harder and harder to find the games as you drown in a sea of promotional toys and “booth babes.” I’m slowly shuffling forward in a neverending line of nerds, but instead of inching toward a playable demo, I’m — oh, wait, it’s my turn.
I walk up a couple of faux stone steps, and there are three “booth babes” standing at the top. All day, they’ve been posing with men up there. I say “hey, so I’m doing something a little different,” and the second one of them starts to nod, I drop to the ground and slump down the steps. My friend says “it’s okay, this is his thing,” and snaps the picture. The women laugh as we walk away. The next 400 men squeeze between the women and wrap their arms around them, proudly posing for their photo as if they’ve done something other than stand in line for it.
There are certain things you can always expect from a Jurassic Park movie.
Dinosaurs (duh), that iconic John Williams score, a Cliff Notes introduction to chaos theory, someone accusing someone else of “playing God” – Steven Spielberg’s original Jurassic Park really laid out a template that the subsequent films have followed religiously. One could even argue that the huge opening weekend success of Jurassic World is, in some way, due to the fact that it followed the original “Jurassic formula” much more closely than the other two lackluster sequels. (Isla Nublar is WAY cooler than Isla Sorna.)
However, there is ONE strange component to that formula that inexplicably has shown up in EVERY SINGLE Jurassic Park film so far. And it’s not dinosaurs, DNA, or Dennis Nedry.
ALL of the Jurassic Park movies have subplots about divorce. All of those cute kids who spend the movie running away from prehistoric carnivores – every last one of them is a child of divorce. That seems odd, right?
Back when it was a totally dope diss to say “don’t have a cow, man”, kids had a vocabulary full of pop culture. There was something magical about old video games’ vocal snippets. Because games had limited memory, and because we were dealing with cartridges and CDs instead of giant hard drive installs, sound bytes were short, succinct and hilarious.
My friends and I would dole out disses and exclamations based on video game sound bites. I wonder how many of these were common among your group of friends too! The best thing is that I’ve found that some old school video game phrases are totally still usable now that I’m a father…
Game: NBA Jam (1993)
System: Arcade, Genesis, Game Gear, SEGA CD, SNES, Game Boy
Usage: After jamming home some trash next to your unaware child.
Of course. NBA Jam was a game full of sound bites and quotables. And while “he’s on fire” was commonly thrown around by my friends, the more forceful exclamation was a gentle “BOOMSHAKALAKA” yelled into the ear of a friend who merely had the bad luck of standing next to a trash can while you had something to throw out. You’d throw down the trash so authoritatively that let’s face it, you should have looked into a career as a garbage man. Well, now you’re a parent, so part of your job is being a garbage man, so the next time you need to throw something out, do it with style and scream “BOOMSHAKALAKA!” Your kid will repeat it in no time.
Let me be frank with you: dads are doing cute shit and you should point at them and squeal “D’AWWWWW”. And because some of you haven’t dipped your skulls into the pantheon of cute, nerdy, loving, involved dads out there, I’m here to recommend some.
You will follow them. You will enjoy them. You will like some of their photos. These tasks will cost you nothing out of pocket, but will make their day.
In case you don’t have your ear to the streets, (and why would you, it’s filthy) you might not know about a new trend: the “dad bod”.
In short, the dad bod is the body your dad’s got. you go check him out and tell him we said hello while you’re out. Don’t worry, we’ll wait.
You back? Okay cool. So the dad bod, as you saw, means you’re not cut anymore. You do some sit-ups and maybe run a little, but your youthful definition is gone. It’s cool, man. The ladies are into it. It’s socially acceptable. It’s in GQ, for crying out loud.
Hey, up front: this is a sponsored post. Though we’re going to talk about some typical 8BitDad dad commercial stuff, I’m letting you know that I was compensated by the Swiffer folks with money and product to talk about their #SwifferDad campaign. Opinions, as always, are all mine.
You know the Swiffer commercials: a green box shows up on someone’s front porch, and suddenly the family enjoys cleaning. But what you might not have noticed is that Swiffer commercials have been really kind to fathers.
With the new “Swiffer Dad” campaign (HASHTAG!), P&G really put their money behind dads, even enlisting some dad bloggers for their commercials. Seem legit, right?