Even if you’re still sucking down leftover Halloween candy and thinking about who’s sitting next to who on Thanksgiving, the retail machine is onto its next big thing. Tis the season for retailers to make dads look like incompetent fools and walking wallets. Sears is more than happy to step up and give it a go with their commercial “Holiday Baby”.
In the 30-second spot, dad’s checking out a no-doubt incredible drill while ignoring his child. And you just won’t believe what happens next! Okay, you will.
We at 8BitDad hope you’re spending time with your families on Christmas (and Hanukkah), and helping your kids cut all of their fun toys out of the impossible-to-open plastic packaging.
Also, just for funsies, after the jump there’s a video we found on Reddit of a dad who filmed his kids coming down the stairs on Christmas every year for 25 years.
Everyone should have known something was up when Santa asked “y’all been good?”
Yet when Santa brought all of these 2nd graders in North Carolina the exact toy they asked for in their letters to him, the kids jumped for joy. All but one, that is – a little girl named Bethany, who wanted her dad home from Iraq.
Bethany’s dad, Wyndal Arnold, is an electrical infrastructure contractor in Iraq. He’s been there so much that Bethany and her father had only seen each other less than two weeks in the last two years. You can, of course, guess where this is going.
Right now, I mean RIGHT NOW, I’m giving parents everywhere yuletide leverage over their naughty kids! Well, I’m not giving it to you, but I am going to clue you in to an awesome site that will let you create a personalized video message from Santa Clause for your kids. For 2011, Portable North Pole will let you create a message for free-ninety-free (and that’s pretty cheap!).
Here’s the really fun part. In the skit, Santa Clause greets your child in his warm jolly way, and offers to check with his special machine that helps him keep track which children have been nice, and which have been naughty. When you customize your message, you get to choose whether to put your kiddo on the nice list or the naughty list.
Now if this alone were the only feature, it would be a cool video, but there are a lot of other options that Portable North Pole offers to parents so they can have a really neat opportunity to send their kids a special message.
Since shopping and buying gifts for the holidays have become so integrated into society’s year-end habitual consumer machine, it’s only natural to follow suit and give into the shopping holiday spirit. As parents, we will do anything for our kids to make the holiday that much more enchanting and special. I know this because my 15-month-old daughter is the first grandchild on both sides of the family, so yah – she’s pretty damn enamored with Christmas.
However, there are some giving folks who have taken to the streets, or Omaha Kmarts to be more specific, to make Christmas special for random families. I like this. I think people like this as well – hopefully not too much.
If I lived in Omaha and found out about this you bet your jolly sweet ass I’d be running out the door to a Kmart, look for a suitor, and put sh*t on layaway.
Interesting fact: Behemoth retailers Target nor Walmart offer layaway. Sears does, but the parent company, Sears Holdings Corporation owns both Kmart and Sears.
I just hope this isn’t an ingenious marketing ploy by Kmart to entice shoppers into a family game of “Santa Chance” – if it is revealed as such, I swear to some f*ckin’ jolly fat dude that I will post a video of myself giving a standing ovation in front of Kmart as an update to this article.
Until then, I’ll just keep believing in humanity.
This isn’t really a review, so much as a nudge to pick up a free gift. If you’ve got a little kid and you still buy into the evil regime of Christmas (kidding, I guess), then boy-howdy do I have an app for you to try. It’s the “Toca Hair Salon Christmas Gift” which is the Japanese game show way to say “Toca Xmas Salon.”
This FREE app, by the good folks at Toca Boca, is like crack cocaine for a toddler-aged kid. Your kid can choose to either cut Santa’s hair or prune a Christmas tree. There’s not much to this app, except that you get to cut, style and color Santa’s hair. Somehow, it also hypnotizes kids.