Image

humor

Kids Learning to Internet? School Them With These 90s Instructional Videos
6 years ago

Kids Learning to Internet? School Them With These 90s Instructional Videos

Welcome to the Internet

Did you decide to get a computer for your at-home personal use? Maybe you want to check the stocks at home, get some news headlines, and maybe – but probably not – have a little fun with your family on the internet?

But whoa! Don’t just dive right in and try it yourself. The Internet is a crazy place full of bits and bytes, and you need to know how to call them up, or you’ll be lost. We’ve pulled together some helpful videos for you to watch with your family to get you ready for your own home computer.

Read More

The Worst Fathers of Stock Photography
6 years ago

The Worst Fathers of Stock Photography

Stock Dad Poison Flower

If you could only know what the dads in stock photos were saying, you would be shocked an appalled.

Well, you’re lucky because 8BitDad was at CES and we got this new photo-translator that will extract the conversations right out of a photo and print them onto it. Look, we don’t understand how it works, but it works.

Read More

Five Things My Special Little Snowflake Needs for Back-to-School
6 years ago

Five Things My Special Little Snowflake Needs for Back-to-School

Back-to-School

Kids are back to school, and – duh – they all need braindead stuff like a backpack, notebooks and pencils. But my kid is special, see. My kid is a snowflake. He’s got pencils, but he needs pizzazz.

So naturally, I’ve compiled a list of the top five things (there’s more, dudes, but attention span) that my special little snowflake needs for back-to-school time. Your kid probably doesn’t need them because I’ve seen your kid. He’s okay, but he’s all boogery and I can tell from the look in his eye that he’s not a go-getter. You want a go-getter? Dude, you can’t handle a go-getter if you even hesitated answering for a fraction of a second. This list isn’t for you, Mr. Mediocre.

Read More

OMG Hot! Celebrity Dad Thigh Gap Is New Trend
6 years ago

OMG Hot! Celebrity Dad Thigh Gap Is New Trend

Thigh Gap Celeb Dads

Celebrity dads are already crazy delicious. But now that celebrity dads are jumping on the thigh gap trend, I can’t even. You can’t even either. We all, collectively, can’t even.

Just go grab a cold drink and point a desk fan at you while you check out our sizzling hot list of celebrity dads getting in on the thigh gap trend.

Read More

Old School NES Games That Prepared Me for Fatherhood
6 years ago

Old School NES Games That Prepared Me for Fatherhood

Fathers pull their inspiration from weird places. Some of them pull it out of their own father’s teachings. Some of them pull it out of necessity and learn on the fly. But what indisputably prepares you for fatherhood the most is video games.

Old NES games, specifically. Look, that console had two buttons. TWO. There was no dual-stick move-and-look. There was no rocket-jumping. You didn’t get a gun and a melee attack. You got JUMP and SHOOT. If you were incredibly lucky, and you usually weren’t, you could use a second weapon or skill by holding B while pressing A.

The games were brutally tough, unfair, and unrewarding. And all of that hardship prepared a generation of boys for fatherhood.

Read More

10 Discontinued Junk Foods That My Son Will Never Get the Chance to Eat
6 years ago

10 Discontinued Junk Foods That My Son Will Never Get the Chance to Eat

10 Discontinued Foods

Some things are too good (or too bad) to keep around forever. This is especially true in the world of junk food, where brands constantly crank out products based on market trends and flimsy pop culture references.

My son will never eat some of the junk food I had when I was younger. I certainly won’t tell you that he’s missing out on some of these. This is a list of tooth-and-organ-rotting garbage. But try not to get nostalgic reading this list of stuff my kid will never be able to eat.

Read More

Top 5 Celebrity Dad Nipple Slips
7 years ago

Top 5 Celebrity Dad Nipple Slips

Top Celeb Dad Nipple Slips

Here at 8BitDad, we know that nothing is more delicious than celebrity dads. They’re hot and they’re good fathers, which just makes us all tingly in the right places. That’s why we took it upon ourselves to find the top 5 celebrity dad nipple slips.

We can’t thank the paparazzi enough for following these dads day and night, just waiting for that perfect shot of chest-pepperoni.

These dads are always in the limelight and just couldn’t figure out how to keep their shirts on. Oh, Em Gee, you guys, happy Friday to us all, am I right or am I right? OR AM I RIGHT?

Read More

The Ugly Truths Behind Caillou, Curious George and Max & Ruby
7 years ago

The Ugly Truths Behind Caillou, Curious George and Max & Ruby

Cartoon Truths

Oh sure, the cartoons that your child watches seem okay. They seem educational. They teach our little ones about emotions by showing them a funny character in all sorts of mayhem. But did you know that some of your child’s favorite shows are harboring big secrets?

It’s true! The networks would never come right out and say this, but I have it on good authority that the cartoons our kids watch – such as Caillou, Curious George and Max & Ruby – have very grim beginnings and ultimately, ends. Murders, wars, kids living in squalor – those are just some of the situations you’re not being told about when your child watches these cartoons.

But I, dear readers, will give you the scoop. The truth wants to be free.

Read More