As our collectively-linked dad boners are telling us through giant, blue-veined throbs and pant-shredding splits, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is like minutes away from ushering in a whole new universe of catchphrases, toys, cartoons, (more) movies, books, comics, stuff, stuff and more stuff. And lightsabers, possibly in new colors.
But if you somehow managed to live with Star Wars virgins in your household for this many years without mundanely crapping out vital plotpoints to them when your smug Star Wars jokes that killed in college have been falling flat on their Alderaanian asses at the dinner table, then you’ve been shaking your fist at your obviously inferior family members, threatening them with showing them the movies “IN THE CORRECT ORDER” before they’re “allowed” to see The Force Awakens.
We all just watched that new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, right?
It was… solid. Intriguing, nostalgic, raised more questions than it answered. (Still no Luke? The Force is a myth again? Why do Star Wars people always forget about magic religions within one generation? Who is Rey? Why does hyperspace look different? Is this the first time we’ve ever had in-atmosphere X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter battles? Because they look AWESOME.)
There are certain things you can always expect from a Jurassic Park movie.
Dinosaurs (duh), that iconic John Williams score, a Cliff Notes introduction to chaos theory, someone accusing someone else of “playing God” – Steven Spielberg’s original Jurassic Park really laid out a template that the subsequent films have followed religiously. One could even argue that the huge opening weekend success of Jurassic World is, in some way, due to the fact that it followed the original “Jurassic formula” much more closely than the other two lackluster sequels. (Isla Nublar is WAY cooler than Isla Sorna.)
However, there is ONE strange component to that formula that inexplicably has shown up in EVERY SINGLE Jurassic Park film so far. And it’s not dinosaurs, DNA, or Dennis Nedry.
ALL of the Jurassic Park movies have subplots about divorce. All of those cute kids who spend the movie running away from prehistoric carnivores – every last one of them is a child of divorce. That seems odd, right?
Throughout my life, I’ve watched a ton of wonderfully nerdy movies that really stayed with me. They’re the movies that I’ll watch whenever I see them on TV, and they’re the first movies I search for on streaming services when I’m bored.
Sometimes, it breaks my nerd heart to not be able to share everything with my son all at once. But he simply won’t understand some of my nerd nostalgia movies. He was born into an era of iPhones and digital downloads. I came from the days of the diskette.
Thought you’d be interested in this bit of info: This Spring, an animated movie will round out the story of Batman and his son, Damian. Oh, did you not know that Batman is a father? Damian never showed up in the theatrical Batman franchise, so we don’t blame you.
Titled Son of Batman, it is a Warner Bros. Animation and DC Universe Animated Original Movie (quote-unquote) starring Jason O’Mara as Batman. O’Mara also voices the Dark Knight in another animated movie out now-ish, Justice League: War.
Son of Batman follows the story of Damian Wayne, inspired by the 2006 story arc from the graphic novel Batman and Son. And if you thought Batman had family issues before…get ready for something different.