Does playing with dolls not cut it anymore for your digital-age daughter? Are you ready to take a knee and impart all of the incredible feelings about being a parent to her? Is she already ovulating at the age of 6? Well then My Baby 3 & Friends for the Nintendo DS might be a great game for her to pick up. While not as offensively loony as, say, the Bratz series – My Baby 3 & Friends is definitely weird enough to make you, as a parent, want to hang yourself.
Your first red flag that you’re in for a doosey is that they tell you that MB3&F “delivers all the fun parenting and baby milestones”. Let me tell you something about milestones. They’re not fun. When someone says your baby should be walking by 10 months, you’re on the ground shaking the crap out of him or her at 10-months-and-1-day thinking they’re behind. If some book somewhere says your kid should be saying 20 words by 18 months old, you’ve got your kid tied to the recliner in front of the television, playing two Your Baby Can Read DVDs at once picture-in-picture. I mean, as a parent, you’re supposed to panic. You’re supposed to care. You’re supposed to be so emotionally invested in your baby, that just the thought of them not being up-to-snuff makes your balls hurt. Just kidding. But you’re supposed to be interested in a way that this DS game ain’t gonna give you.
Oh, and at this time, I should tell you that I haven’t PLAYED My Baby 3 & Friends. So this is no review. Just a head’s up.