It’s Testicle Tuesday, y’all!
So recently, you were all like “dudes, it takes giant balls of steel to be a dad,” and your friends were all like “bro, I saw how you disciplined your kid, it takes big balls to make decisions like that.” So yeah, you’re stoked. You’re like, “I got big, giant, weaponized gorilla balls and that makes me a fantastic father.”
Also, you’re all like “I’ve got a lot of manbatter swimming all up in my balls, and that’s why it was easy to make a baby. Ka-kow!“
But science, you guys, is all like “Dudes, BTW: testicular volume is inversely correlated with nurturing-related brain activity in human fathers.” And now we’re all like “pssshhh, lame. Science, you don’t know me.”
In the past, we’d reported that older dads may make kids with lower IQs, and that the male biological clock is set to 41. Well, Captain Science is at it again, and this week’s news is that older fathers might make healthier kids – and grandkids.
These findings were presented in Monday’s Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (we know, we know…you get it in the mail along with The New Yorker) by Dan T. A. Eisenberg, M. Geoffrey Hayes and Christopher W. Kuzawa. The researchers found that although these little biological things we have in our DNA called telomeres shorten as we get old, men who wait to have kids until they’re older tend to bestow longer telomeres to two generations of descendents.