Child-humor cartographers and heads behind How To Be A Dad, Andy Herald and Charlie Capen, made co-sleeping official with their book The Guide to Baby Sleep Positions: Survival Tips for Co-Sleeping Parents. In it, we get 30 diagrams of possible nighttime positions you’ll find your baby in.
If you’re not already familiar with How To Be a Dad, just head on over there and check it out. It’s okay, we’ll wait.
I was completely caught off-guard when one night without warning, my wife, who was several months pregnant at the time, brought someone else into our bed. At first I was excited, I mean guys are always talking about having 2 partners at the same time as if it is the holy grail, so I thought we should go for it.
Plus, she seemed like she really wanted it, even more than I did, and said that it would make her sleep better afterwards. However this partner would turn out to be much more than I bargained for, and ultimately more than I could handle.
This week’s Podcast Question of the Week is about getting a good night’s sleep:
How do you deal with your kids’ nightmares?
Eventually, every kid has a nightmare. Whether …
You knew that your life would forever be changed when you became a father. No one, however, told you that you’d be living like a homeless person, simply because you have a kid.
There’s a silent thing that dads have: we can see it in each others’ eyes, or maybe it’s in their aroma. Single guys give each other crap about not being presentable. But once you’re a father, you can walk into a social gathering looking like you just had dinner and a nap behind a Carrow’s dumpster, and other fathers know – it’s the mark of a real father to look like a disheveled lump of crap.
I know what you’re saying: “But Zach, I’m totally put-together and clean-smelling, and I’m a father!” Well, the following are the 5 ways that fatherhood has made you live like a homeless, train-hopping hobo, and I bet you do more of them than you think.
When a kid is in the crib phase, they accept their fate for good amount of time; my son was generally happy to be in his crib, but we saw a look in his eyes that said, in the plain english that he was not yet able to speak, “dudes, you realize that I’m out of this motherf***ker the second my leg is long enough to swing up here, right? Once I get out of here, I own the place. I will help myself to food. I will turn on the television and order OnDemand porn. I will log onto this apartment complex’s website and take you off the lease. I will set the couch on fire, and I will crap in a drawer, somewhere, and you won’t find it until it’s too late. BTW, thanks for giving me milk every day. It’s great for my growing bones.”
I don’t know where my son learned to curse, but I’m assuming it came from me. Also, I couldn’t punish him for it since he said it with his eyes, not his mouth.
What can a parent do to keep their kid in bed once the crib front comes off? There are as many opinions as parents, and it seems like every father’s got a solution that’s worked for them and not someone else. After the jump, 8BitDad lets you know what other fathers (and a couple of mothers) have done.
Hint: the answer is – because you’ve finally got a minute to yourself, and nature is a sick bitch. Other than that, I guess according to CNN, via Parenting.com, it’s got to do with the air in their room or something – which squarely falls on you, dad, for keeping their room so dark/light/dry/moist.
CNN offers a guide on the most common at-night illnesses and how to combat them. Fortunately with 20 months of fatherhood under my belt, I pretty much know everything, so I’ll tell you the real reasons why kids get sick at night and what to do.