As the father of a young daughter, I am not used to social progress. I’ve come to expect that female politicians will be constantly asked about their appearance. I’ve come to expect that corporations will forget to make toys based on the female lead of their new blockbuster movie. I’ve come to expect that it will take Barbie over 50 years to acknowledge what real women look like. I’ve come to expect that, at every turn, society will find a way to let my daughter down, in big ways and small ways, entirely due to her gender. I am used to being disappointed on my daughter’s behalf.
So, imagine my surprise when I recently encountered some small, hopeful progress for girls in a completely unexpected place – children’s character underwear.
That’s right. There are Star Wars and Marvel underwear for girls right now and it’s kind of a big deal.
We should’ve seen it coming. After the #WheresNatasha and #WheresGamora campaigns – hashtags that called out the lack of female representation in the merchandise for Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy – WHY did anyone assume that Disney, toy manufacturers, or retailers would’ve learned their lesson for Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Were we that naïve? Did we just not want to admit what we all KNEW was going to happen? That, even though Daisy Ridley’s Rey was the LEAD CHARACTER in the whole damn film, she would be almost impossible to find on Force Awakens merchandise. Because that’s EXACTLY what happened. Hence the inevitable hashtag #WheresRey.
As our collectively-linked dad boners are telling us through giant, blue-veined throbs and pant-shredding splits, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is like minutes away from ushering in a whole new universe of catchphrases, toys, cartoons, (more) movies, books, comics, stuff, stuff and more stuff. And lightsabers, possibly in new colors.
But if you somehow managed to live with Star Wars virgins in your household for this many years without mundanely crapping out vital plotpoints to them when your smug Star Wars jokes that killed in college have been falling flat on their Alderaanian asses at the dinner table, then you’ve been shaking your fist at your obviously inferior family members, threatening them with showing them the movies “IN THE CORRECT ORDER” before they’re “allowed” to see The Force Awakens.
The holidays are a time of family. Awkward family you haven’t seen in foreves. I mean, sure, you follow them on Facebook, but once you’ve covered the catching-up phase, what do you do?
My suggestion: make the holidays a time of family gaming. I think you can, and I think it’s easy. But it’s not a one-size fits all approach. There are plenty of great board games, card games and video games out for folks of all ages – and with a little forethought, you can be the hero that emcees the whole thing.
Here are some suggestions of games you can break out once family starts showing up, and there’s bound to be something for everyone.
Star Wars Battlefront has faced some mixed reviews in its first week; it’s a fun couch co-op game, but reviewers almost unanimously mourn the lack of both more single and multiplayer content. Nevertheless, it’s a really fun game, and even more fun to play with your kids. Just one tip: first, get ’em a fake I.D.
Before you hop in the car and drive to some shady alley downtown, you won’t need a real fake I.D. But it might take some number-fudging and superfluous accounts to get your children playing Star Wars Battlefront online. Keep reading for a step-by-step process to get them online.
We all just watched that new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, right?
It was… solid. Intriguing, nostalgic, raised more questions than it answered. (Still no Luke? The Force is a myth again? Why do Star Wars people always forget about magic religions within one generation? Who is Rey? Why does hyperspace look different? Is this the first time we’ve ever had in-atmosphere X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter battles? Because they look AWESOME.)
There’s a dad in New Jersey who is “furious” that Hasbro’s Star Wars Black Series Slave Leia action figure is in toy stores. “That’s pretty inappropriate. I got 2 daughters I don’t need seeing that crap,” he told FOX 29 News Philadelphia.
So I want to know – is the Slave Leia action figure appropriate for toy shelves? Should it be relegated to online-only sales so kids won’t see it in the store?
Let me be frank with you: dads are doing cute shit and you should point at them and squeal “D’AWWWWW”. And because some of you haven’t dipped your skulls into the pantheon of cute, nerdy, loving, involved dads out there, I’m here to recommend some.
You will follow them. You will enjoy them. You will like some of their photos. These tasks will cost you nothing out of pocket, but will make their day.