Any dad that’s worn a baby carrier knows that there’s a sweet, bundle of joy in front of you that you’ve got to protect. And that is, of course, your testicles.
Look, you’re a good dad and you’ve got a handle on that fatherhood thing. But getting kicked in the junk is not fun. That’s why the Kiccup exists – it’s a shield that hangs below your baby carrier and protects you from wild baby-kicks.
Every warrior needs armor, and gentlemen, if you’re not protecting your meatballs, then what in the world are we doing here? Amirite or amirite?
It’s Testicle Tuesday, y’all!
So recently, you were all like “dudes, it takes giant balls of steel to be a dad,” and your friends were all like “bro, I saw how you disciplined your kid, it takes big balls to make decisions like that.” So yeah, you’re stoked. You’re like, “I got big, giant, weaponized gorilla balls and that makes me a fantastic father.”
Also, you’re all like “I’ve got a lot of manbatter swimming all up in my balls, and that’s why it was easy to make a baby. Ka-kow!“
But science, you guys, is all like “Dudes, BTW: testicular volume is inversely correlated with nurturing-related brain activity in human fathers.” And now we’re all like “pssshhh, lame. Science, you don’t know me.”