John Joe Gray is a father. But he’s no ordinary father. Frankly, we can’t figure out if he’s insane or if maybe – just maybe – we’re the insane ones. Why? Gray is technically in a standoff with cops, but the standoff has been going on more than 11 years.

See, Mr. Gray is sort-of in a militia. He and his family live in just outside of Fort Worth, Texas, on a 47-acre compound. But one day, Gray was a passenger in a friend’s car when the long arm of Johnny Law pulled them over. And bein’ that Gray don’t like Johnny Law too much, Gray made a move for the officer’s gun, and then bit him in the scuffle.

Gray was released on bail, but failed to report to court on his two charges of assaulting an officer and taking an officer’s weapon. Gray made it clear that the law enforcement was not welcome, and the family had written a letter, telling them to “bring extra body bags” if they planned on storming the joint.

One thing though – no one’s trying to storm the joint.

Four Sheriffs have presided over the area since Gray self-imposed his house-arrest. All four said arresting him isn’t worth risking their mens’ lives. They do intend on arresting Gray if he leaves the property, but if he hasn’t left since 2000, you might not want to keep your fingers crossed. You’ve got other stuff to do with those fingers.

Meanwhile, the compound, which has an underground bunker for the eight (or more) children inhabitants, has no power, refrigeration or phone. The family gets water from the creek, and food from the land. Everyone is armed to the teeth at all times. Just in case.

John Joe Gray says that the government just wants his valuable land on the Trinity River. I could see that.

BTW, even Chuck Norris got in on this. No, seriously. He brought his own lawyers as negotiators.

This is one father that really, we’re not going to F with. We’d like to say that this is incredibly sad for the children, but we have no clue.

And no, that’s not a box of crazy wafers in the pic. It’s actually a Koran that Gray plans on burning with his daughter. Classy!)