Stock Dad Poison Flower

If you could only know what the dads in stock photos were saying, you would be shocked an appalled.

Well, you’re lucky because 8BitDad was at CES and we got this new photo-translator that will extract the conversations right out of a photo and print them onto it. Look, we don’t understand how it works, but it works.

I understand that I’m going to dad-hell for this, but disclaimer disclaimer, this is a joke. So, enjoy the most clueless, serious and mean fathers of stock photography…

1. The allowance struggle is real:


Stock Dad Allowance

2. Some dads are so into their careers that they never clock out:


Stock Dad Engineer

3. And some dads no longer have a career. Thanks, kid:


Stock Dad Pilot

4. This guy knows that you can’t eat a whole heart because it’s just too much iron:


Stock Dad Cut Out Heart

5. TMI, dad:


Stock Dad Mushrooms

6. It’s never too late to father-up:


Stock Dad Paternity Test

7. This dad keeps it real for playtime:


Stock Dad Poop

8. This dad is actually speaking the 100% truth:


Stock Dad Saturday Morning

9. And this dad has a survival plan:


Stock Dad Bear Attack

10. Father knows best (or was that Fugitive knows best?):


Stock Dad Shaving

11. Father priorities:


Stock Dad How to Math

12. In this dad’s defense, spawn campers suck hard:


Stock Dad Spawn Camper



Stock Dad Caillou

14. And finally, this dad is into tough love:


Stock Dad Piano

Who’s your favorite bad dad of stock photography?