Your Childhood Will Not Be Ruined If "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Sucks

We all just watched that new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, right?

It was… solid. Intriguing, nostalgic, raised more questions than it answered. (Still no Luke? The Force is a myth again? Why do Star Wars people always forget about magic religions within one generation? Who is Rey? Why does hyperspace look different? Is this the first time we’ve ever had in-atmosphere X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter battles? Because they look AWESOME.)


How do you feel? Excited? Anxious? Angry? Ready to tear you hair out because when, when, WHEN WILL IT BE DECEMBER 18TH ALREADY?!

I can sympathize. Some of us have been through this before, sitting there, listening to your heartbeat thundering in your ears, after buying a ticket to Freddie Prinze Jr.’s Wing Commander just to get your first-ever glimpse of The Phantom Menace. (Which, trust me, is MUCH worse than just tolerating a few hours of Monday Night Football.)

And, as a veteran of “Star Wars anticipatory mania” – because what else can you call it? – I can tell you that there are TWO things you need to know, right now, about The Force Awakens, particularly after watching that jaw-dropping trailer.

1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens might suck.

2. And that’s OK.

Because even though J.J. Abrams seems to be saying all the right things… even though the cast, the sets, the crew, the poster all feel right… even though that moment of Han saying “Chewie, we’re home” in that second trailer hit you harder in the nostalgic feels than you ever thought possible… there is a decent chance that, even though you’re a die-hard Lucas fan, you might not like this movie. It might annoy you. It might not be good.

And that’s OK. You’re allowed not to like it.

Your Childhood Will Not Be Ruined If "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" SucksI know you WANT it to be good. You want it to be good so, SO much. You want to recapture the wonder you first felt years ago when you first saw Empire. You want your children to feel that same swell of emotion you feel when John Williams’ soundtrack kicks into high gear. You want a Star Wars-Land at Disney World. You want your kid to be overjoyed that you already bought them a Poe Dameron Halloween costume, even though you’ve only seen maybe 15 seconds of footage of him in action.

You’ve already invested a lot in this movie, simply based on some internet chatter, a few minutes of slickly produced footage, and the fact that it’s Star Wars.

But, despite all of that, you still might walk out of The Force Awakens feeling distinctly underwhelmed. Heck, you might hate it.

And that’s OK.

Your Childhood Will Not Be Ruined If "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Sucks