People, lay off the fidget spinners.

No, I don’t mean our kids, who love them and are collecting them wherever and whenever they can. I mean you (and you and you and especially you). You’re such a wet blanket and you know it.

My 8 year-old son loves fidget spinners. He proudly tells everyone that he’s got upwards of 27 of them. If we’re out and he sees one that’s a different style than any he’s got, he wants it. But inevitably, the person at the register remarks, “I don’t get those things.”

“I don’t know, I just like them,” my son replies. The cashier always chuckles and follows up with something like “I don’t see the point” or “why do you have to have so many?”

Oh. Oh!

I’m sorry, as if we didn’t just go through 100 years of collecting baseball cards? Why did you have to have so many baseball cards? Why did I personally need to collect Topps, Donruss, Fleer and Upper Deck cards? Couldn’t I just be happy with one Kirk Gibson or Nolan Ryan card? I DON’T GET IT <sarcasm>

Why did our parents have so many marbles when they were kids? Why did we collect Garbage Pail Kids? Why did we collect Cabbage Patch Kids, for that matter? Why do you collect Funko Pop! figures now? Why do people have rock collections or shell collections? Why does anybody do anything? I mean, really? Why don’t we just exist as necessity-based beings, hunting for our food, building a house just big enough for our family? Dear god, why!?

Because we collect stuff and we compare it to whatever our friends have. Because we enjoy stuff, in general. But really, truly: who cares what anybody does? No one stops me in the grocery store and asks “who eats pork rinds?” (Thank god.)

Remember POGS? They were all different, all had different photos and designs on them, and you could find them at every gas station, 7-11, supermarket and mall. There was a loosely-ruled and regionally-dependent game surrounding them, and you never knew what pogs your friends would find. Fidget spinners are our kids’ pogs. So lay off.

“But aren’t these for ADD?” That’s another question I hear often. Answer: yes/no/maybe. While the original intention of the fidget spinner may have been to give your fidgety kid or friend something to occupy their hands, like everything, it’s changed. Coca-Cola was originally created as a headache reliever and cure for morphine addiction. But you surely don’t ask every kid who buys a Coke, “I don’t get it, are you treating a morphine addiction?”

I get it. We’re wired to hate every trend now because society is so sick of “the next thing.” But honestly, who cares? Our kids are having fun and sharing something social. What kind of turds are we to question 8 year-olds about why they enjoy something?